Tom Cruise will be running to save the day when The Mummy
comes out on June 9th. But why
wait until then to set your Mummy fix on?
American Mummy
A group of university students in the New Mexico desert
unearth an ancient mummy, on which one of the students performs a secret,
primeval blood ritual. This awakens the death-hungry spirit of the Aztec Lord
Tezcalipoca, intent on finishing his centuries-old reign of terror. Soon, the
mummy's curse possesses the students' souls, turning them against each other in
a bid to spread his evil to the entire world.
Mummies waste no time in getting their hustle back on after
being wrapped up for centuries. They
wake up and they immediately want to take over the world. For once, why can’t a mummy be like, “Man… I
overslept. That sucks. What technologies
have arrived in my absence and how has culture changed in the world I now
reside? Are blood rituals still a
thing? What’s a fidget spinner??”
Stuff like that.
Originally released under the name Aztek Blood in 2014, the makers of the movie no doubt wanted to
capitalize on the upcoming Tom Cruise movie.
Reviews
So when you’re at Walgreens this Friday, pick up a bottle of
that Walgreens wine get this classic from the Redbox and you are bound to get a
side hustle of your own on afterwards.
Yeah baby.
My apologies to Bass Guy.
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