Results Week One [Fantasy Football 2012]

On Sunday afternoon, my brother Ed, sent me a text informing me the kicker on my fantasy football team has the most points.

Well that's just perfect.

I already hate my team as it is, now my kicker is rubbing it in.  The video shows you why he has the score he does

He actually had the second most points behind Tony Romo.  But Ed hates the Cowboys (or Cowgirls as Ed calls him) and doesn't consider Tony Romo (or Tony Homo as Ed calls him) a real person.
At the end of the day on Sunday,  America's Team, The Scranton Dunder Mifflin was ahead 102 - 95.5.
I guess the .5's started this season. 
102 - 95.5 looks like it's a battle between two radio stations.  It's Seventies Soft Jams 102 versus Today's Country Hits on 95.5 The Bull with The Raging Redneck in the Morning Morning Show every morning with fewest commercials and the most traffic and weather every hour each and every morning.
Even though I was ahead on Sunday and Team Lemler Lame Name was losing, I don't begin to get all excited and talk a lot of smack.   I'm a fan of both Texas A&M Football and the San Antonio Spurs.  I've learned not to expect a win until the final buzzer with those two teams.
My patience was correct, Lame Name's running back scored 17.5 points which gave his team the victory.  This makes my record for season openers at ( 0 - 4 ) #garbagejuice.
I'm really pissed at the 49ers Defense.  They only gave me five points.  My kicker scored 16 dangit!!!  If my other team wasn't Cincinnati, I'd toss them off the Golden Gate Bridge.  This makes them the obvious winner of Player(s) I Hate of the Week Award
Congrats 49ers. You Stink!!!
Next week I'm going against "Team Lora" AKA another obvious place holder team for my brother and sister in law.  Ed and Christine, if you're going to make fake teams in your friends names, at least give them a real name.  I know you watch a lot of Comedy Central hence have a lot of sixth grade humor influence, name it after SouthPark, the Colbert Report or something. 
Because I'm tired of the unoriginality of my opponents (even though they kick my butt), I'm renaming "Team Lora" to the "Sandusky Rainbow Unicorns".
I even provided a logo for you.  You're welcome.
Next week, it will be…
The Sandusky Rainbow Unicorns ( 1 - 0 ) vs. Scranton Dunder Mifflin ( 0 - 1 ) I totally expect David Akers (the Kicker) to be the victim of a drive by this week.  There's no way on earth he'll come through for me for the remainder of the season. It is what is is...
Welcome to Boltonshire.