Kristie Goes To The Store [Once Upon A Time In Boltonshire]

In order to try to get back into blogging, I'm going to post older stuff to try and keep readers interested and get possible new readers (who am I kidding?) an idea who they're dealing with.

From Juggling Eric,  GOING TO THE STORE. June 3rd 2010.

In my house, I am the one that usually goes grocery shopping.  It's just what I've always done.  Maybe it's because Kristie was on bed rest a lot so I went in her stead, I dunno.  Now I usually go and pretty much stay on the given list.  Sure there are times where I might deviate, like maybe get the kids a five dollar DVD or extra snacks.  But there's hardly ever a time where I just throw out the list and say "one of each please."

There were times where I got the wrong item or it wasn't the type of product Kristie expected.  For instance, the bacon.  Before we started buying turkey bacon all the time she said we needed bacon. 

"Which kind?" I asked.

"I don't know.. The one in the red packaging."

Okay, I guess there isn't many red packaged bacon products.  I get to the store and see the red packaged bacon.  I pick it up and look around in case there are any other similarly colored bacon products.


I go home.

"This isn't the right bacon.."

"It was the only red bacon there was."

"If you had a question you should have called."

"There was no question!!!  You said RED, I got RED!!"

We find out later the correct one was blue.

The other night we needed a few things.  Dish Sponges and Toilet Paper.  I tell Kristie what is on my very short list and I ask if we need anything else. 

"Paper Towels."

Apparently we only need stuff to wipe things in our house.

I get only what is on our list and the next day she asks if I picked up butter.  I told her no and she proceeded to make a big deal about me not getting butter. 

"You were there, you could have gotten it!!"

"But I only went for those things AND I asked you what we needed and you said paper towels.  You never mentioned butter."

She went on a few more times about how she doesn't understand how I could forget the butter.  It was similar to what a conversation would be like if I left a kid in the car.


So couple days later she's going to run to the store while I'm working from home.  The main thing we needed was butter. We were out completely!  This was awesome because nothing was planned for that weekend and I really didn't feel like going shopping.  I was just afraid of list deviation.  It seemed okay when she asked me to send her a list to her phone. I thought all was well until the following happened. 

I have an active imagination, but there is NO WAY I could make this stuff up.

During her trip she called me a total of six times. 



First Call: "Can you update my Facebook to say that HEB is having a sale on fresh corn, six for a dollar?"  


"Should I get this or the canned corn?" 

I'd prefer the canned, because I can just throw it in stuff.  

"You would just cook the corn first then."  

Fine whatever you want, sweetie.  

"Okay bye."

Second Call: "We need potatoes??"  

Yes that's why I put it on the list.  The ones in the pantry are days away from melting.  

"Do you get the gold ones?"


"Okay bye."

Third Call: "Do you want to get HEB diapers, or LUVsLUVs is a dollar cheaper than Huggies.  HEB brand is $12.50" 

Go with HEB, we'll try it out. 

"Okay, bye."

Fourth Call:  "OLD NAVY is having a sale this Saturday for dollar sandals, I figure we can get up on Saturday like we would for baseball and go get the kids some flip flops."  

Sounds random and great, sure why not.

"Okay, bye."

Fifth Call:  "What kind of dog food do I get?" 

The big one in the orange bag

"There isn't an orange bag. There's a small blue bag."  

It's the medium sized bag that's like $8.69.  

"There is no medium sized bag."  

What sized bags are there

"A three pound and a forty pound."  

There should be an orange HEB brand, kibbles or something.  

"There's a small one in a blue bag and medium one with a yellow thing."  

It's in a yellow thing?  What kind of thing? 

"A yellow logo." 

We'll Just feed them them hot dogs and bologna, dangit!! 

"Okay, bye."

Sixth Call:  "I'm on the way home.  I spent more than I planned."  


"I got a lot of things." 

Like multiple items of what I put on the list? 

"I got six types of chicken."  

They make six types of chicken?? "

I also got a laundry basket." 


Okay, I'll go on break when you get here so I can help you unload

"Okay, bye."

I wish I was exaggerating, but I am not.  In her defense she did take all four babies with her.  I will take Loreli, Seth, and Araceli, but not Emma.  She took them all and she did save me a trip this weekend.  She also made the effort to call me to get my opinion versus me not doing it at all.

We finish unpacking, she starts making dinner and I go back to work.  I sit down and realize I didn't put any butter away.  I put away the six versions of chicken, but no butter. Concerned that it was left in the car I went to the kitchen.

"Sweetheart, I didn't put any butter away. Did we bring it in??"



"I forgot the butter."

I go back to work not saying a word.

Welcome to Boltonshire.