That's the background in a nutshell.
One day shortly after hearing the news, and thinking how stupid the mother must be for giving up her kid for a dude that treats her worse than crap, KC came into the room while I was working. She sat on the bed and you could tell she had something big to ask. It was hard to find the words, but she came out and said that her cousin asked us if we could take care of D (the baby).
Real quick. I am not, have not, nor will I ever be a young woman who ended up in a situation where her boyfriend or whatever abused them in whatever capacity. I understand it could have been based on whatever control KC's cousin had on her or whatever. I know it's hard. I know that much. But being a parent, no matter how bad you are scared and you have been offered a safe way out and a safe place to stay but choose to give up your kid. That is stupid. I'm sorry it is. Especially when you have complete awareness of what you are doing,
So KC just dropped the bombshell that we are being asked to take care of her cousin's baby.
Hell no!! Not even a rated TV-7 "heck no", but "Hell no"!!
I know she expected this reaction because she wasn't mad or defensive.
You see in the Summer of 09, we were the safety plan for her cousin, "K" and her two kids. K was a teenage mother with two kids with a dude that wasn't a positive influence on her either. K and J are siblings. Which is why J asked KC if we could take care of the baby since we have a history of taking care of their family.
Back to the "hell no!"
My reason for the denial was we are finally in a spot where KC is not pregnant and we are not expecting her to be pregnant anytime soon. With her not being pregnant, it means she is not on bed rest for an indefinite period of time. The kids are getting pretty self sufficient and they don't need constant looking after. I'm finally able to get to those projects around the house that need to be done. Plus I also want to have more alone time with just KC.
PLUS!! I saw this as bailing J out of his situation. J's been in and out of trouble, mostly in, for years. I don't want his drama being brought into my family. I told her there are plenty of foster homes that are ready and able to take care of an infant. I felt we are not in that place.
I listed a ton of more reasons why we shouldn't.
Again, she understood.
I stopped to breath and calm down when KC told me the reason she wanted to consider it. KC has a giving heart. She'd give all of herself no matter what the circumstance before thinking about what it could cost her. I love that about her, but it can also frustrate the cranberry sauce out of me. She really wanted to keep the baby with the family. More discussion with me not budging and her being completely understanding.
I told her, "Okay, I will pray about it. And I promise I won't pray 'God can you please change KC's crazy mind'".
With that she left and I went back to work. I forget what I prayed, I was just something like, "God?? Whatever...."
Shortly after that, I started focusing on the solution instead of the problem of bringing a new child into the house. Sure we have five kids, three share a room, and my dad takes up about 175 square feet of the house and we have a ton of laundry. But that really shouldn't be any reason why we couldn't take care of another kid no matter how long it would be. In my head I was making it work logistically.
And with that, my mind was changed.