[ - SCENE: Conference Room. Indoors. Mid-Day. Eric Bolton of Juggling Eric and important looking people are having a meeting.-]Eric: Can we make this quick guys, I'm supposed to be working?
Blog Executive 1: Will do, baby. I first wanted to say that we LOVE Juggling Eric.
Blog Executive 2: Love it.
Blog Executive 3: It's amazing.
Eric: Thanks guys.
Blog Executive 1: No problem, baby. Since you're tapped for time, I'll get right to the point. We were thinking that we need something to shake up the dynamic of Juggling Eric. Something big!
Blog Executive 2: Big!!
Blog Executive 3: GINORMOUS!!
Eric: Are the stats that bad guys? I know the comments have dropped in the past few weeks, but I just attributed that to the holidays.
Blog Executive 1: Yes, Christmas is a bad time for blog comments.
Blog Executive 2: It's a great time for presents though.
Blog Executive 3: Praise Baby Jesus!!!
Eric: How bad were they?
Blog Executive 1: Well our primary reports do say that you're number one with men aged 36 who have five kids, live in San Antonio and also are named Eric.
Blog Executive 2: Top of the list!
Blog Executive 3: KILLER!!
Eric: Isn't that just me hitting refresh over and over again to make sure I didn't misspell any words?
Blog Executive 1: Like I said, these are primary reports.
Blog Executive 2: Nothing official.
Blog Executive 3: Pure Cranberry Sauce!!!
Eric: So what did you guys have in mind?
Blog Executive 1: We're hitting a dry slope in the season of Juggling Eric. Ladybug isn't producing her Starving Artist work, Christmas is over, there are no birthdays until the second half of the year. Usually at this time of year a new baby is breaking you in. So we're thinking about bringing in a new baby.
Blog Executive 2: Stressing you out!
Blog Executive 3: Farting in your general direction!!!
Eric: Okay. But KC's not pregnant. And even if she was to get pregnant tonight, the baby wouldn't be here until August at the earliest.
Blog Executive 1: True.
Blog Executive 2: Very True.
Blog Executive 3: Couldn't be more very true.
Eric: Can't I just sign Disco up for football or something? I could do more skits like The Toilet Paper Rod?
Blog Executive 1: That could work, but the overhead....
Blog Executive 2: A little expensive.
Blog Executive 3: We're not Dreamworks.
Eric: But a baby? How the heck are you going to just make a baby appear.
Blog Executive 1: We're glad you asked.
Blog Executive 2: So glad.
Blog Executive 3: Super crazy awesome glad.
Eric: What......
Blog Executive 1: We found out that KC's cousin lost custody of his daughter. You and KC have already been approved to be the guardians of her. You actually have court today to finish all the legalities. Work already knows.
Blog Executive 2: Wear something nice.
Blog Executive 3: And shave!!
Eric: I uh... Don't know.. wait, what?!?
Blog Executive 1: Congratulations!
Blog Executive 2: This is fantastic news.
Blog Executive 3: Make your readers proud.
Eric: ...........................
[ - roll credits - ]
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