THE Exact Moment

I reluctantly went to work Friday morning.  Not for any commitment I have to the company, but rather for the commitment I have for my family.  I've been here a while and every application I fill out online comes back as "we are going with someone else".   I hate being on phones all day, but I have to do what I need to do for my family and just suck it up.

KC was in the hospital last week.  Overtime I've gotten used to the trips to the Methodist Hospital.  I wasn't prepared for it when we were married, but when there's a history and concern it's best to go.  

A lot of things we're going  in my head this morning.  Changes that we're coming.  How everyday seems different and stressful, yet the same and calming.  Kind of like a hurricane. So there I am at work, lost in thought and spinning the usual wheels I need to spin while I'm there.  

MaddSkillz stayed home from school that day.  The thing I realized about MaddSkillz pretty quickly was when he said he felt bad he probably did.  So he'd stay home from school and was all better by 10AM.  I figure it was okay if he stayed home that day.  Once 10AM passed, he'd be feeling better and would be able to help out his mom with anything she needed.  

I get a call on my cell.  It was KC.  I'm currently on the phone with a customer whom I put on hold while I take the call.

"It's happening again.  Rita told me to come on in..."

"Are you able to drive?"

"I guess I have too."

"I'll be outside.  See you when you get here.  Be careful."

About 20 minutes later she picked me up and we went to the doctor's office.

"Well, we can either send you home and have you come back later or we can just admit you now."

My wife and I look at each other.

"Admit now!" 

A short time later, a nurse is escorting us to Labor and Delivery.  

We did the normal procedures we went through every time we rushed to L&D when signs of pre-term labor happened.  MaddSkillz would look at the monitor and predict when the next would happen, while I called the family, friends and co-workers to let them know what's going on.  We had an excellent nurse, whose name I forgot, but really helped KC through it all.  

As the hours passed and we were getting closer to the big moment, my dad, her mom and step-dad showed up.  MaddSkillz predictions were happening every two minutes or so when the doctor and what seemed like eighty other hospital staff stood around and watched my wife scream and squeeze my fingers with a crippling effect.

We secluded the dad's in the "waiting alcove", which in this particular room was about sixteen square feet.  My dad and father in law did not know each other that well on Friday.  But sitting in that tiny alcove with a closed paper thin barrier all they could do is sit their and only look at each other in silence as their daughter/in-law screams.

We decide to let MaddSkillz stay in the room with us.  In the final moments, I am on the bedside to KC's right, MaddSkillz is to my left at the top of the bed, Nana is to my right, and Nice Nurse is on KC's left.  After a couple of pushes, the doctor says, "I see the head." When all of a sudden we hear a patented MaddSkillz cry.  I'm not trying to be to be mean, but it sounds almost like an asthmatic goose. Well MaddSkillz is all of a sudden balling and the whole room stops, including his mother, and I ask what's the matter.  His reply?

"I'm just so happy!"

Now all of us we're crying like asthmatic geese.  Some words of encouragement,  a few pushes coupled with crippled fingers and a few seconds later I saw my Ladybug for the first time.  We had done it.   We made it through all the problems we had with the pregnancy.  The world stopped at that moment.  Nothing else mattered.  The unloved job, financial problems, the sickness and hospital trips and now crippled fingers, none of it was in issue.  It had all been worth it seeing them clean my perfect baby.

I had no idea what I was going to do next and I didn't care.  I just stayed in that moment at 5:43PM on that  Friday afternoon as long as I could.  Because that is the exact moment I was indwelled with a new form of love and  I became a Daddy.

Happy 5th Birthday Ladybug.  Thank you for choosing me to be your father.

Hard to believe this was only FIVE years ago.