What If?

What if I never dropped out of college and actually applied myself when I was there?  Judging from my college buddies on Facebook, they're doing pretty well for themselves.  Chances are I would be too.  I wouldn't have had family members disappointed in me for my choices.  I would have made them proud being the first one to actually graduate from college.  I wouldn't have wanted to stay in San Antonio, I had been wanting to leave this place from the very beginning in 1988 when we first moved here.  This is why I went to school as soon as I could out of town.  

I wanted to be an architect, I picture myself working for a semi big firm, maybe with the hopes of working for myself.  I'd be attending seminars and continuing education classes in different specialty schools.  I'd be banking it quite well and I would like to think I would not have to worry about money being an issue.  I also would think my house would be clean.

What if you never got pregnant in high school?  Would you have stayed with Mike after graduation?  Even if you didn't and without the added responsibility of a baby, you would have been able to finish college the first time around.  And when you would have finished, you would have driven yourself to get the best job you could find that would make the biggest difference in other people's lives.  I still believe your house would have been a mess, though.

What if we had actually made those decisions?  What if changing one thing in our past that could have brought each of us personal success and admiration from friends and family, prevented us from being in a building at the same time nine years ago today?  

I would think that our paths would have crossed eventually, you would have still thought I was a dork and I would have still thought you were the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.  Maybe we would have eventually developed something together and I forced you to submit to my irrestibleness.  It wouldn't have been on September 24, 2001 but it could have been sometime later.  We'd still eventually have our five kids and we probably wouldn't be as tired.

But what about the events that would have happened after September 24, 2001 in the original reality?  

Sure, ideally there would not have been all the struggles but what about the things that happened because we did walk into the same building at the same time on that day?  All the struggles we shared over the past nine years are what defined us as a couple.  Every fight. Every break up. Every make up.  Every everything had been designed so we could be sitting here today with our five fantastic children in our messy house worrying about money until the next pay check.  You still submit to my irrestibleness and you're still the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.

Happy Ninth Anniversary from the day you met me, Sweetheart.  I love you and thanks for the struggles... :)