The Bizarro Jerry

There is an episode of Seinfeld where Elaine breaks up with a guy and they become "just friends".  Their relationship mirrored the relationship she shared with Jerry.  Kevin (the guy) was the exact opposite of Jerry.  Where Jerry was negative about a certain situation for example, Kevin was extremely positive.  Kevin had an apartment just like Jerry and even had his own George, Kramer and Newman doppelgangers.  Kevin became known as "The Bizarro Jerry".

(I guess I should explain this.  Bizarro is a super villain in the Superman comics.  He is a clone or something of Superman who says and does things backwards or the opposite of Superman. See the picture.  Jerry Seinfeld is a major Superman fan, hence the "Bizarro Jerry" name.)
I've stated before, where I can be sort of a klutz and my wife would look at me like I was seven ways retarded. It has become the norm where sometimes it is just expected that I will get hurt or screw something up.  So she just rolls her eyes and asks if I'm all right with as much sympathy as a wet towel.  

But sometimes my lovely bride, the woman of my life, the mother of my children becomes possessed with the spirit of Bizarro.  She starts doing things that only I would do.  

And I don't mean she starts to watch wrestling, read comics and writes a crappy blog.

Let's start with something small.

One day, KC came home from somewhere.  Where she was is not important, but the fact she had all the children with her when she arrived was.  I was working at home and as I usually do when I hear her pull in the driveway, I go outside to help her unload the children.  I corral the Triad in and come back to help with Emsters.  I go outside, notice all the doors to the van are closed and KC is coming inside.  

"Did you bring Emsters in already??"

"Oh Crap!!!"

Yes, she forgot the baby in the car. 

Now it was only like twelve seconds, so no long term harm was inflicted.  In KC's defense, we haven't had this baby as long as the others so it's understood one of us would forget about her every once in a while.

Another example was the transformation of our Mini-Van to the Dragon Wagon.

The most recent event came after church on Sunday when we were invited to a couple's house because they didn't know we had five kids for lunch.  The children had eaten, I was holding Emsters while KC was fixing my plate.  She served me a nice heaping pile of pasta and a side salad.  I dug into it and noticed it had a different taste.  

It was sweet.

It wasn't bad, but I thought it was strange.  The pasta was set next to dessert on the table and I thought maybe some crumbs had gotten into the pasta.  I dug through the pasta looking for the foreign food and couldn't find it.  I asked MaddSkillz if his tasted sweet.  He said no.

I wasn't about to be rude and ask why it was sweet, so I ate my food.  After I was finished, I looked at the table through the dimly lit room and saw a shaker of Parmesan...

"Awww man, I missed out on the Parmesan..."

My wife responds...

"I forgot to put it on mine, but I put it on yours."

"You did?"

I guess it melted??!?!

MaddSkillz then informs us, it is not Parmesan, but a shaker of sugar.

That's probably why it tasted sweet...

My wife felt really bad for what she did.  I didn't think it was that big of deal.  Later she said she would have been pissed if I did something like that.

Is staying home and having five kids slowly driving her insane?  While she is slightly loosening her grasp on reality, is she turning into a Bizarro Jerry?  While KC is usually in control of her surroundings and these events are few and uncharacteristic, it does feel good that it's not me for once messing up.

Regardless, I still love my Bizarro KC.

Have a great day my friends.