What you are about to witness is real. The participants are not actors. They are actual litigants with a case pending between each other. Both parties have not agreed to drop their claims and have their cases settled here before Juggling Eric's Three Jurors, in our forum: The Blogger's Court.
The Plaintiff: KC. She claims that since she is a mom she does not get any days off. Unlike her husband who has Monday, July 5th off from work.
The Defendant: Eric. He understands the plight of the stay at home mom, but he has told her to take a day away from the house on a few occassions. Every time he gets the same answer.
Defendant: I know it's customary for the plaintiff to state their case here, but I feel that my opening will make the decision much easier for the jury.
Defendant: I would like her remarks stricken from the record and threatened with contempt.
Defendant: Moving on. The other day my precious, gorgeous, caring, super, amazing wife and mother to my children, KC asked if I was off on July 5th. I replied yes I was and then playfully asked if she was off work.
Plaintiff: To which I replied, "I never have a day off."
Defendant: So I told her that if she wants the day off on Monday to take it. Get out of the house, go pop some firecrackers. I don't give a dang. Just go. But then I knew what her answer was going to be..
Plaintiff: What am I supposed to do??
Defendant: I don't care, you're out of the house away from screaming kids that want to be fed and an amazingly handsome, charismatic, very generous husband that will gracisously sacrifice his needs for yours. Go do something!!
Plaintiff: But we have no money. Where would I go?? The library and read a book? I don't feel like reading.
Defendant: You said that last time too. Just take the day and go.
Plaintiff: If I had a day off, I would want to go get a massage and pedicure so unless someone wants to give it away for free.
Defendant: Why do you have to spend money?!?! If you tell me that I'm allowed out of the house for six uninterrupted hours, I will not spend a dime!!!
Plaintiff: What would you do? Go to the comic book store??
Defendant: Sure, then the mall. Maybe Home Depot, Bass Pro Shop. You can go to the mall...
Plaintiff: And not spend any money??
Defendant: You don't have to spend money. Just go look around and see what you could buy if your husband had a better job..
Plaintiff: That's crazy. It's different for women..
Defendant: You're crazy and I rest my case!!!
So what does the jury think? Does she need to have a wad of cash in order to escape the gravitational pull of Planet Bolton?? You wouldn't have to tell me twice, I wouldn't even answer you. I would have my shoes and out the door before you were finished with the offer. It's obvious my wife deserves some time away for herself. Sure she's leaving for four days in a couple weeks, but she's not going to have much time to relax during that time. Tell her she needs to take the time away. Seriously, go to my Facebook page and find my wife and BLOW UP HER WALL telling her to GTFO!