Beware of the Poop Monster

A month ago I decided I was going to write a book.  While it wasn't a book I've always dreamed about writing, I feel it is necessary given my current situation.

The book is called "Beware of the Poop Monster".  I wanted to call it  "Beware of the Crap Monster", but my wife vetoed that name because "poop" is more appropriate than "crap".

The book is about potty training.

Sure there are books that show potty training with positive reinforcement, but my idea for the book is a scare tactic to make the kid feel guilt and fear if they continue to poop their pants.

Points in the book will touch on some of the following:

  • How the friends will stop playing with the child if he keeps dropping a deuce in his shorts.
  • How parents will blame the kid who continuously craps their diaper for the foreclosure of their home because of the growing expense of diapers.
  • Because of the foreclosure, it sends Daddy into a depression and mid life crises and may eventually turn him into a deadbeat dad who leaves his family.
  • Eventually all the poop will build up and form the Poop Monster.  The Poop Monster will then torment the child and even amputate his butt if the number twos don't quit.
Sure some would think this is a negative, but sometimes a scared straight approach like this has worked quite well to change disobedient behavior (even though the kids were teenagers and in prison).

The reason for this book is because of  Disco.  He's closing in on three years old and he refuses to go potty anywhere but his diaper.

Okay I take that back.  When I sit him on the toilet prior to a bath he will not go.  But within seconds of standing in the tub he starts to fill it a little higher.  I have a cup on standby every time I put him in.

We've even tried bribery and it doesn't work.  So all I have left is fear mongering and instilling guilt in the little boy.

Celi, his little sister is already showing signs of a desire to start potty training.  Before baths she tells me "Potty" so I undress her and place her on the toilet and I kneel next to her.  She has yet to finish the task, but gets joy by sticking her foot in my face in an attempt for me to smell her feet while sitting on the potty.

Small steps.

But Disco doesn't even humor me.  This is why I'm writing the book.  I might have Ladybug illustrate. It could be the point of view of a big sister "helping" her little brother overcome his lack of desire to poop in the potty.  It's still in discussion.

What are your potty training experiences?  

I'll keep you updated on the process of the book.  Have a great day my friends.