Like with any reality show competition, I sometimes fantasize about how I would measure up picking the right case, battling for immunity, racing around the world or eating bull piston. Being 35, I'm out of the running for anything on MTV. Though I wanted to be on Singled Out, I never got the chance.
I once filled out an application for Survivor (circa season 3), but a friend of mine told me I would wither away to nothing on the island that long (I was around 140 at the time). Now I'm circling 190 pounds, so that can't be an excuse anymore.
But recently, I've thought more about The Amazing Race. I would enjoy that more than Survivor, Big Brother or Temptation Island.
So if I were to go on Amazing Race who would I partner with? Usually the teams have some sort of connection, whether they're dating, married, siblings, worked together, etc. But since having five kids have ostracized us pretty much, my pickings of a partner are slim.
My Wife
Logically she would be my first choice. But then there's the fear that I would be blamed if we didn't win. She'll complain about me texting while I'm driving a rickshaw through Hong Kong or something. Her patience during stressing matters is not very thick. I would just start yelling at her to give me more time to figure out how to translate ancient Hebrew. While we would kick butt at Taboo, The Amazing Race would not be one I think we would do well with. Drama? Heck yeah. Winning? Not sure. Plus the whole not comfortable with large bodies of water thing would not be good for us.
My Brothers
All my brother's are in good shape and are not scared of water. Half of them have graduated college. One brother has military training and one can quell riots in Texas federal prisons. I have no doubt that we could conquer any physical challenge. I just don't know if I could take going around the world with someone that keeps calling me and everyone else "gay" and "jackass".
My Friends
Not a lot of them left. It's not like they all died very mysteriously. It's just since school, we've all just drifted. Sure we're on Facebook, but it's only out of courtesy. We went through a lot in college, so we could transcend that into the Amazing Race, but it will feel really contrived.
MaddSkillz' Dad
This is one I keep bringing up. He's a smart guy, around my age and I'm pretty sure cool with water obstacles. We don't talk much, but we're cordial to one another. We'd have that interesting dynamic of our relationship. I think this one would be really cool, but KC and MaddSkillz don't think he'd be up to it. Plus he'd probably be pissed if some of his winnings went to child support.
Dad Bloggers
I have no clue if it's been done before. Again an interesting dynamic because we're all Dads and Fathers, but we have different ways we raise our children and our personalities, though usually same minded, could clash. Which like the spouse scenario could create drama. But then you'd have the nay-sayers saying nay stuff like, "Who's with the kids while he's running around the world?!?" "Who does he think he is, Jon Gosselin?"
So there you go. Even though I would like to run around the world doing weird challenges and riding in side cars through Moscow, can I find someone who would want to do it with me? I could always put an add on Craigslist.
What about you, do you want to go on Amazing Race? If you do, will you call me a jackass?
Have an amazing day my friends.
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