I Have a Twin Daughter.

Three years ago my beautiful daughter was born. I was at work when my wife called me and said that she is having bad contractions and that she needed to go to the doctor. So we did, and about 5 hours later my daughter was born. What is funny about this is that I was there at conception. I was there at all the office visits and sonograms. I was even there in the delivery room when my daughter became the most beautiful baby born in this world [outside Jesus the Christ]. My wife and I did a great job. She was like Mary Poppins.. Practically perfect in every way. If I could do one more children's reference I would say that if there was a spider in the delivery room, she would spin a web that would read "One Terrific Kid." What I was unaware of is that she was actually two kids.

I found out during the next several months that Loreli was in fact both "her daughter" and "my daughter." She would be joint property, (our daughter) when we would introduce her or when we would talk to people about her. But the way it turned out is that whenever she did something that wasn’t to Kristie's liking, it was "your daughter." Inversely, when she was doing something that my wife approved of, it was "her daughter."

-Take the toilet paper from the bathroom, unroll it, and then make the prettiest wedding runner ever to exist out of Angel Soft. - My Daughter
-Draw a picture of her and momma. - Her Daughter
-Take all the books from the bottom three shelves, lay them down in the living room to make her own version of ceramic tile. - My Daughter
-Make a bed for all her Care Bears in the entry hall. Complete with pillow and blanket. - Her Daughter

You see the theme here? Whenever it is something that might be construed as destructive or annoying it's my daughter. Then when it something that is cute or artistic it's her daughter.

Here's what is funny about the above situations:
-The wife is the one who would use the wedding runner. - Yet it's my daughter.
-Daddy is the artist. - But it's her daughter.
-Wife wants the tile floor. - My daughter.
-Daddy bought the Care Bears for her and is the one that makes the bed. - Yep.

This brings us to today. I'm at work and I get this text message. "You will not believe what your daughter did." I responded to an earlier situation where she told me that Loreli had ran over to her little brother (Seth) gave him a big hug, said "I love you Seth" and then danced with him. I asked her if that was my daughter then too. She replied that it was her daughter at that time. So I asked what happened and got this:

"She locked Seth and herself in the bathroom and poured toilet water all over him and would not unlock the door. I could feel water splashing under the door."

YES!! This made me laugh out loud.. LOL even. The first thing I did was ask for a picture. But apparently there was not enough time and my wife did not see the humor in it as I did. Probably because she had to clean up the mess and I was at work laughing about the entire event.

From the stories that I've heard and I remember. I'm the one that would bring my little brother hotdogs to his bassinet because he was crying. She was the one that would beat up her little brother.

But it's MY daughter.

Hmm mmmm.
Until next time.