How to Fix Your Washing Machine

Earlier this year, I shared my mad A/C repairing skills with you guys.  Today, I bring you another Juggling Eric "How To"...


STEP 1: Have your wife call you while you're in the middle of a meeting.

STEP 2: Ignore the call because you are in the middle of a meeting.

STEP 3: Receive a text from your wife saying "i need you to call now"

STEP 4: Reply stating you are in the middle of a meeting and can't get up and leave, but ask what is going on.

STEP 5: The next text from her says the washing machine won't drain or  spin and there are clothes in the water.


STEP 6: Send a troubleshooting text asking if the machine is still plugged in, the knob is pulled out, or the "button that is pushed when the lid is closed thing" can be pushed.

STEP 7: Reply from her states none of that works.

STEP 8: Advise you'll look at it when you get home and in the meantime the clothes will not be harmed floating in the water.

STEP 9: Get home, look at the machine and see that the "button that is pushed when the lid is closed thing" is no longer visible.

STEP 10: Reach under the top of the washer to feel for the "button that is pushed when the lid is closed thing" and see if it can be moved back in position.

STEP 11: Realize the "button that is pushed when the lid is closed thing" is no longer existant and feel around to find a switch to make the washer drain.

STEP 12: Watch the basin empty and watch as it spins the clothes and hope your thumb does not get ripped off.

STEP 13: Imagine your thumb being ripped off and hearing your wife say "this is something you would do."




STEP 14: Remember you were given a newer washer a couple months prior that you have not had time to install.

STEP 15: Advise your wife she can't do clothes until this weekend after you install the other washer.

STEP 16: Watch your clothes pile up because you have a family of eight.




STEP 17: Saturday morning realize you should really have a dolly to move the washers and you don't have one.

STEP 18: Borrow one from your father in law.

STEP 19: Disconnect the old washer, wheel it outside, toss it off a cliff and then blow it up with some C4 sitting around the house.




STEP 20:  Wheel the newer washer in and connect everything.

STEP 21: Turn on the water and realize this newer washer has more problems than the old one had.

STEP 22:  Realize you should have waited on destroying the old washer before finding out if the new one actually worked or not.

STEP 23:  Salvage the old washer and see if you can just replace the "button that is pushed when the lid is closed thing" from the newer washer with the old washer.




STEP 24:  Find out it would have been too easy for them to be compatible.

STEP 25:  Go to Sears and see if they have any "button that is pushed when the lid is closed things" for a Kenmore from 1913.


STEP 26:  Place the "button that is pushed when the lid is closed thing" on the counter and have the lady at the counter know exactly what it is and finds a replacement.

STEP 27:  Find out the "button that is pushed when the lid is closed thing" is actually called an "Actuator".

STEP 28:  Take it back home and realize you have no idea how it goes back on because you pulled it out blind.

STEP 29:  Have your wife ask you, "just put it back in the way you took it out".




STEP 30:  Tell her to see step 28.



STEP 31:  Find a way to rig it so it'll work for the time being.

STEP 32:  Know better because you will more than likely be getting another text at an inopportune time with an "I told you so" attachment.

STEP 33:  Remove the side panel to try and figure it out.

STEP 34: Figure it out.


STEP 35: Disconnect the newer washer, wheel it outside, drop it off the cliff and blow it up with the remaining C4.



STEP 36:  Wheel the original fixed washing machine, back inside and install.

STEP 37:  Celebrate your mad washing machine repair skills.




STEP 38:Tell your wife to get back to work. 


* - yeah right.



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