In Syndication: World Domination Milestones

It's no big surprise that my wife is always pregnant with a future child of mine. It's pretty much been that way since we first got married. The day we got married, I became a father. A step-father to be exact. Although MaddSkillz isn't my natural son, I think of him, love him and get pissed off at him just like I do kids that have come from my loins.

A downfall of being a step-parent is that I was not there for all the "milestones" of Michael. I wasn't there for his first word. When he first rolled over. When he started crawling, walking, or talking back. Although I am still waiting for him to eat a meal without me having to hear it. When we hit that milestone, the people will rejoice.

So, I've had the pleasure of witnessing the kid's milestones the past 4 years. My wife and I are terrible at documenting these things, so our memory is a little fuzzy when it comes to the exact age the kids performed their feat. I am going to go on the record and say that Facebook and Twitter updates are my kids unofficial baby books.

The only stuff I can recall right away is that my son walked for the first time at 9 months. His sister pushed him down for the first time twenty seconds later. And none of the kids had teeth until over a year old.

But I've noticed with this most recent kid, that once the excitement of the milestone is worn off, it now becomes a requirement that they continue on with these milestones. For example, once your kid starts using a fork and spoon it's expected that they never eat mashed potatoes with their hands ever again.

Also, you don't get excited about the milestone after they've done it a few time. Like my youngest for instance. She started taking steps about 6 weeks ago. Now she's a full fledged walker. It's still not her primary way of commuting, but she better keep up with me at the mall now. She started walking at 9 months as well. I read the average is 13 months. That means I'm 4 months ahead of schedule on world domination.

See, she doesn't even do the Thriller Zombie Hands-In-The-Air Walk.
Here are other reasons why my kids rule the school.
Operating a DVD Player (including wiping off the 'paw prints' from the DVD) - Early 2's (Ladybug)
STF Wrestling Submission - Late 3's (Ladybug)
Not tapping to the STF - 22 months (Disco)
Wolverine Bezerker Attack - 9 months (Beautiful)
Talking Like a Pirate - Mid 2's (Ladybug)
Leaping From Top of Play set to Concrete Patio - 21 months (Disco)
Mad Break dancing Skills - 20 Months (Disco) - See Below

So, I've concluded that my son is indestructible. My baby girl is great at offense. And my oldest daughter can survive on a desert island alone. Now all I need is from this new baby, is the ability to breathe underwater and control sea life.