In Syndication: Rules for Dating My Daughters

A fellow dad blogger of mine found out that he is going to be a father to a girl in the upcoming months. He posted on his blog about not knowing what to do in regards to his daughter dating or how he was going to pay for the wedding. I can certainly relate with his upcoming anxiety on account I felt the same shortly after we realized we were going to have our first daughter.

Seeing how I was a guy, and even though I was considered a nice guy, one thing always crossed my mind when it came the opposite sex. I was a dork and nothing ever happened the way I wanted, but I thought about it none the less. Also, KC and I did not have money to pay for the wedding of her dreams. This is also a concern when my THREE daughters want to get married.

So I have come up with the following on what I will be implementing in regards to my daughter's three.

Dating.

A rule in our house is that they are not allowed to date until they are 16. This goes for the boy's too. MaddSkillz, the first to be a teenager already broke this rule. Yes he has a girlfriend in school, but we've been major road blocks when it comes to doing anything alone with her. In the nearly year that he's been with her, they have not gone out on one date. Either alone or in a group. The same rules are going to be applied to the other kids.

So when they reach sixteen, I've decided that I am going to do a few things.

Invest in the most uncomfortable chair I can find.

This will be for when any would be suitors come to pick up one of my daughters. They will sit in this chair that will be directly across from me. The chair will have no arms so he will have no place to put his arms. He will then have to fidget when he tries to find a place to put them. Crossed. On his lap. By his side.

Directly behind me will be my collection of guns and rifles. Both automatic and semi-automatic. Along with some ninja swords.

I will also make visible a bulletin board that has missing posters of various would be suitors. Maybe even have a fake id stapled to each one.

I will also make sure I get his car's make, model and plates.

I will also have a Sprint/Nextel account that I will have a two way phone that he is required to have with him at all times. I will be able to contact them at any time when I want.

If he does not respond in a manner that is of my liking. I will be forced to contact the cops and report that he has kidnapped my daughter.

The goal is to weed out all the jerks and d-bags that will then say that it's too much hassle to date this chick.

The Wedding.

Now this is going to get expensive. Traditionally the bride's family pays for the wedding. I'm against this idea. It's like the bride's parents are paying to get ride of their daughter. If you want to marry my daughter, you have to purchase her from me dangit.

More than likely my wife will disagree with this and I'll have to pony up. So here's what I'm suggestion.

Sponsorships.There will be $25.00, $50.00, $100.00, $250.00, $500.00, $1000.00 levels of sponsorship. I will set up a pay pal account strictly for the girls' wedding. Now if you think that you will get nothing for your money, you are wrong.

Here is what you get.

$25.00 - You will get your name in the reception slide show.

$50.00 - You will get your name in the reception slide show and two free drink tickets at the bar.

$100.00 - You will get the above AND your name in the wedding program.

$250.00 - You will get the above AND your name on a patch on the groom's back during the wedding.

$500.00 - You will get the above AND your name on a patch on the bride's gown instead of the groom's.

$1000.00 - You will get the above with your name on the bride AND groom as well as share the honeymoon suite with the new couple.

Also, any and all sponsorship donations will also get a shout out during the toast.

Now granted my daughters are 4 years, 1 year and 3 weeks old, I see that its plenty of time for family and my blog audience to raise enough money for them. The pay pal buttons will be set up in the coming months.

So, I think I got this down now. My daughters shouldn't say crap because they're not paying for it. Its none of their business how we raise the money. If they want something different then they can pay for it themselves.

Have a great weekend my friends.