World Domination Milestones

It's no big surprise that my wife is always pregnant with a future child of mine. It's pretty much been that way since we first got married. The day we got married, I became a father. A step-father to be exact. Although MaddSkillz isn't my natural son, I think of him, love him and get pissed off at him just like I do kids that have come from my loins.

A downfall of being a step-parent is that I was not there for all the "milestones" of Michael. I wasn't there for his first word. When he first rolled over. When he started crawling, walking, or talking back. Although I am still waiting for him to eat a meal without me having to hear it. When we hit that milestone, the people will rejoice.

So, I've had the pleasure of witnessing the kid's milestones the past 4 years. My wife and I are terrible at documenting these things, so our memory is a little fuzzy when it comes to the exact age the kids performed their feat. I am going to go on the record and say that Facebook and Twitter updates are my kids unofficial baby books.

The only stuff I can recall right away is that my son walked for the first time at 9 months. His sister pushed him down for the first time twenty seconds later. And none of the kids had teeth until over a year old.

But I've noticed with this most recent kid, that once the excitement of the milestone is worn off, it now becomes a requirement that they continue on with these milestones. For example, once your kid starts using a fork and spoon it's expected that they never eat mashed potatoes with their hands ever again.

Also, you don't get excited about the milestone after they've done it a few time. Like my youngest for instance. She started taking steps about 6 weeks ago. Now she's a full fledged walker. It's still not her primary way of commuting, but she better keep up with me at the mall now. She started walking at 9 months as well. I read the average is 13 months. That means I'm 4 months ahead of schedule on world domination.

See, she doesn't even do the Thriller Zombie Hands-In-The-Air Walk.
Here are other reasons why my kids rule the school.
Operating a DVD Player (including wiping off the 'paw prints' from the DVD) - Early 2's (Ladybug)
STF Wrestling Submission - Late 3's (Ladybug)
Not tapping to the STF - 22 months (Disco)
Wolverine Bezerker Attack - 9 months (Beautiful)
Talking Like a Pirate - Mid 2's (Ladybug)
Leaping From Top of Play set to Concrete Patio - 21 months (Disco)
Mad Break dancing Skills - 20 Months (Disco) - See Below

So, I've concluded that my son is indestructible. My baby girl is great at offense. And my oldest daughter can survive on a desert island alone. Now all I need is from this new baby, is the ability to breathe underwater and control sea life.

Did you like this post? Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought. You can also subscribe to these posts HERE. Or any other place on the pages that offer subscriptions.

Juggling Eric Dad Blogs


  1. Is she waving at the camera or waving her hands as if to say "look ma, no hands"?


Post a Comment