Great White Fat Ninja

When I was working at home for 3 weeks, I found cable stations that I never knew existed on the upper echelon of digital channels. One such network was G4. I'm not entirely sure what the "G" stands for. It could be for Geek or Gamer. They show the Spaceballs movie a lot as well as a bunch of gaming shows. I did get to watch some of the first season of Lost, there was this other show that was almost as cool. Ninja Warrior!

While at first I thought it was another version of MXC where hopeful Japanese-Asian people attempt humiliating and near impossible obstacles and stunts while being heckled by English dubbed announcers. It was not like that at all. While they were still Japanese-Asians, the stunts and obstacles where not at all humiliating and only impossible to those of little athletic ability.
The point of Ninja Warrior is to complete these obstacles to go to the next round of obstacles. Where if you complete them all you move forward in this tournament and become an official Ninja or something. Easiest thing to compare it to would be American Gladiators without the roided up freaks pelting you with tennis balls or padded fists.

But I was amazed how they tackled these ramps, logs and walls with near ease. I drifted back to my days in the Corps of Cadets when I could do the obstacle courses with some degree of athleticism. Now a days? Not so much.

We recently got a new bike as well as a baby cart to pull behind aforementioned new bike. Since I am the only one in the family that knows how to ride a bike that is not pregnant I am the designated biker. Which my daughter wants to utilize often.

I've been married almost 4 years, and I have probably gained at least 30 pounds since getting hitched. I wish that was all in muscle, but alas it was not. Add that to my total lackadaisical urge to get myself into shape and you can tell that these bike rides have not been easy.

My entire life I hated being "the skinny one." I'm not some anorexic movie star that is considered hot because my clothes fit better hanging on a hanger. So, I start to gain a few pounds and I start to complain about being fat. While I know I'm not and fat people will call me an idiot, but this is my blog dangit.

I tend to get winded in the simplest of tasks, playing with my kids is an easy one. Pulling that baby cart with a 30 pound girl and a 25 pound boy along with the cart that weighs 50 pounds? Forget about it! While to my kids I'm strong and nothing hurts me. This totally upsets me. How am I supposed to become a Ninja Warrior? While I want to work out, I just can not find the time to do it.

When my days consist of 14 hour of work and kids and wife and flooding toilets and peeing dogs and dirty dishes, I'm just too dang tired to wake up at 5AM to get 30 minutes worth of running or bike riding in.

But I'm tired of making excuses. If I want to juggle Eric efficiently, I need to at least pick up the ball and throw it in the air. So, I'm making the promise to try and work out. Unlike before where I don't TRY at all.

So, hopefully pretty soon, all 30 pounds of flabby fat fat that has symbiotically attached itself to my old Ninja Warrior self will be gone or at least redefined so when my daughter throws Chinese stars at me, they won't hurt as much.

We'll see.